Children and Divorce

Divorce and separation of parents can significantly impact your children.  In fact, it is a requirement that you attend a Parenting Class in Massachusetts before you can be divorced.

There are ways you can make a divorce easier on your children.  First and foremost, it’s easier on your kids if you and your soon to be ex agree to put the best interests of your children before your own personal wishes and needs.  This is not always easy when you are in the heat of a divorce and emotions are running high.

Some suggestions to make divorce easier on kids are:

  • Don’t talk trash about their other parent.  I know it’s very difficult not to give into the temptation to complain to your kids about your former spouse.  Just make it a rule and stick to it, even if your ex is talking about you.  Take the high road, your kids will appreciate it.
  • Make sure your kids know that the divorce is NOT their fault.  Sometimes kids blame themselves and can be hard to convince otherwise.
  • Find a child therapist and enroll your kids.
  • Don’t talk about the divorce around the kids or in front of the kids – kids have big ears!
  • Don’t talk about finances to the kids.
  • Try to set the same ‘rules’ with your former spouse – try to agree on bedtimes, punishments and schedules.  This can be tough because your kids may try to manipulate this to their advantage…and try to play you against each other.
  • Keep your kids schedules as consistent as possible.  For example, if they have soccer every Tuesday at 4:30, make sure they get to soccer at 4:30.
  • DON’T FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.
  • DON’T SEND MESSAGES THROUGH THE KIDS.

 

 

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